“I chose being — being present, being open, being malleable. Life is saying, “okay, I will give you the challenges that will help you become grounded in that kind of living.”
(Facebook comment in response to a post about choosing a word for the year)
There is something inside that knows if we can simply find enough stillness to listen.
It had been a year of finding balance in life — a year beginning with a lost feeling of anxiety and ending with a more relaxed accepting attitude toward daily life. I had settled into my own skin quite literally. The angst of nonacceptance of self had faded into the albums of memory and I was at peace in my skin.
It had been a year of learning mindfulness — a year of learning to more intentionally live in the moments that are, accepting their potential to affect the future through living into each new day, celebrating what is instead of regretting what could not be changed. It was a time of learning to forgive myself by having the grace to accept the humanity of all — my own and that of others. It was a year of letting go, of letting be, of finding new horizons in my todays.
As the year began I looked inside again. My self had known the year before. In choosing the word “balance” I had been set on a path of growth. What word settled its feather touch of knowing on my soul?
The inner “Yes!” rang like a well tuned finger cymbal resonating through the molecules of my inner self. Such a simple and yet such a profound word. My thoughts settled on a definition for the word and began to build acrostics as guide post for the journey of the year.
Being – to live out the PROMISE of each moment by being:
My play simplified it into this definition: To make each moment a living POEM:
When only days into the year a situation arose with the potential to redraw some of the outline of my living, these acrostics became a lifeline for thought. They are giving me guidance and questions on what it truly means to be present, open engaged and malleable in a situation that will require change in some form in circumstance that are not in my control.
In this time, I am learning my first lesson about what it is to be. Being does not mean pretending to feel what you don’t feel. It does not mean passively going with the flow.
It means being present to what is truly within so that it can be processed instead of pushed away. It means accepting emotions for what they are while choosing to living grace toward others.
It means to be open to more than one possibility, accepting of our own intuitions and knowledge while not determining the choices and truths as perceived by others. It means considering ideas we may have pushed away in the past.
It means being engaged in the weighing of choices and possibilities and doing what needs to be done to prepare to move forward in what is the reality of life and the consequences of choice.
It is a malleability that knows how to bend and flex as necessary but also know that sometimes reshaping may mean moving beyond what has in the past been our comfort zone.
I don’t know what changes will occur because of this road I am now moving along. The future is more unsettled, less secure. Being present as I begin moving along this path of being, I realize one thing. I am at peace with the traveler who makes this journey. I believe she is capable of facing this adventure with courage and grace. She has within her the capacity to live whatever this journey brings.