Journeying the labyrinth of time

Two poems as my journey into the mandala labyrinth continues:

Castaway
April 18

I have been given a gift, 
unexpected and, surely not one I wanted
I have been given an island of time
A castaway from the sailing vessel
Of roles and expectations 
To preform to fill the role
Defining my dreams for the future
Delight and joy of accomplishment’s

Satisfaction torn away 
By violent waves of disbelief
That dream would find an end
Broken on the rocks 
Of others’ expectations
Changed from those encountered
When signing on to crew
Safe passage on a lyrical sea

Here on these sands 
I walk to the gentler rhythm 
Of waves on a quieter sea
I cannot reach the other shore
Until a boat comes back for me
So I wait and taste the fruit 
Sustaining me, new satisfaction
Dawning with each rising sun.

Within this island of time 
The sun and silence have burned away
The should have beens, leaving
What matters, the essence of dreams:
The innocent love of children, 
The warmth of caring friends, 
Enough faith to sustain each step
And a heart that can reach to others.

____________________________________

Return
April 19

Stop! Slow down!
I’ve only arrived at
This island of peace!
Walking this labyrinth
Of grief I found release.
Centred I began to know 
Who I am beneath 
The fears and shame
That held me bound,
That blocked my mind
And tore emotions.

This quiet waiting
Isn’t that what peace is?
Can’t I stay here
Protected from the winds
Outside my safe confinement?
You smile, remembering
My hurry to rush past
This time to push forward
Into trying once again
To meet the expectations of others.

The twists and turns of time’s 
Labyrinth have quieted 
That storm of loss.
I have founded contentment here,
Made peace with life
Secure in my choice 
To live my belief by
Isolating from risk of others
Who set a different course.
Revelation comes.

I breath relief.
The storms have ended 
I am safe in the centre
Safe in the knowing . . .
a puff of wind
And then another 
The sail in the distance
Moves quickly toward
My refuge on these shores.

Am I ready?
Can I move back to the 
World I once knew?
The world did not wait
But came to me invading
My defences with time
Spent sharing and
Presence appearing
Into the silence of years.

The darkened pigments of release
Trail from the boat 
As the distance grows
And shrinks toward
What living will be
As I return to life once more –
A new kind of peace
Of knowing the end of 
This journey is near
And life will be
What it’s meant to be

I leave the centre 
Of this labyrinth of time
Yet carry its gifts inside.

  

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