has a telling
Some lay fallow
on the heart room floor
Left to grow
in quiet contemplation
yet unknown I
Gently loosen soil
for roots and stems
Secrets. Those special memories that can’t be shared. We often seek to bind others to the secrets in our lives even those that are better told out loud. We need to let them loose and so they fly to other hearts to lodge there within the garden there. And yet, we don’t release the other to do the same. We bind them to the holding of the seed even if it might be an invasive plant in their garden.
We often choose to do this out of hope for some lessening of the pain and terror of our own vulnerability should the other share the tale where it shouldn’t be heard. We seek to trust the load that is too heavy for us to carry alone will be able to be shared. If there is a mutuality, and ability to transplant secrets to balance the listeners heart, then the new seed can be given the space needed.
Too often I am remiss at listening to what is within the other to see if they can handle my seeds. Is it something that can find beauty within their garden, something they can clear out if necessary or is it a tenacious weed that can take over what is already growing there?
Unless I want to slam the door of this blog, there are stories that I cannot share without violating the sacred trust of others. They are stories that must be shared with care if shared at all. It is so easy to sensationalize the pain of another, or to project our own responses on them. If I can find my way into writing fiction, perhaps there will be a place for that. That place isn’t here and it isn’t now.
Yet I need to choose. There are too many secrets inside me. What ritual of letting go will allow me to release those that need to be cleaned out so that I can hold the ones I still need to hold for my own peace and empathetic relationship with significant others in my life. How do I write the things I have learned from the stories while living respectfully with others who are a part of the story? These are the questions I still need to answer before I am ready to move beyond this blog.
For now, I am thankful for this space to begin to share in and those who take the time to interact with me on my words. Perhaps my mindful gift is right here today – this place which gives me a place to share with others and those who have chosen to let me be a part of their journey by reading.